Don't be boring

I started writing on a different topic, got about halfway through, and deleted it all. That's what I get for taking inspiration from a quote. I must always follow rule #1 of content creation: Don't be boring. Of course, this is paramount when you're writing for an audience, but when your audience is one, I don't want to be bored either.

So when in doubt, tell a story. People love stories. 

I knew a guy who was blasted drunk and driving 90mph down the 101 freeway in Scottsdale, heading back home after a night of partying. He risked getting pulled over by a cop because of bad urine management; i.e., he was racing home to take a piss. At some point, he could no longer hold it and had nowhere to pull over. He completely let go and soaked his pants and the driver's seat of his car. 

When he got home, he stumbled to his apartment, intent on returning to his car to clean it up. Once inside his apartment, however, he quickly passed out on his bed, still wearing the same clothes.

In the morning, his alarm jolted him awake. He was on the verge of being fired, so he didn't dare call in again. He took a quick shower, then vaguely remembered something weird happening the night before. Once he walked out to his car and opened the door, he suddenly remembered. He had no time to clean the seat, so he was stuck sitting in his own damp and stale urine on his way to the grind.